GRATUITOUS KITTENS

CRAZY EYE

2007-04-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

She's got it:
He's got it:

WHY YOU USE FLASH?!!

BEEDY AND GWEEDY, SITTING IN A...

2007-03-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

Uh...soiled duvet cover?

They are still very much in love...

(I should really get a decent camera if I'm going to go around posting cat pictures.)

...well, I think she's a little bit over it since she's been spayed.

Please appreciate his giant horse head:

...and her tiny feets.

SPREENG HAS SPRUNG

2007-03-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

...and so has Guido:

She rips up all the cat grass. No one knows why.

Is this a look of: a) pure love, or b) he is gonna kill me in my sleep...?

IT IS VERY HARD TO GET A GOOD PICTURE OF BEEKER PT. II

2006-12-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

He won't...

Hold...

(Oops, that's Joe!)
Still...

...still.

IN FLAGRANTE DE GUIDO

2006-12-20T15:22:00.000-08:00

Beaker, dude.
"Jailbait...long wait".

I know, you thought she was 18, but that's no excuse...
...and you! Stop winking at him...!

BEEKER ON TELEVISION

2006-12-20T15:15:00.000-08:00

Beedy sez: f*ck this rabbit ears sh*t...let's get cable.

BEADY'S BALLOON

2006-12-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

Beady isn't even 1 yet, old enough to be snipped, but too young to have a catnip-rolling party. So instead, he ganked my birthday balloon.I'd heard about this sort of thing before. Our friend's cat absconded with her balloon, too, and carried it everywhere until it popped. Cranky's cat, MeowMeow, is only interested in the ribbon, which he severs with his fangs to watch the balloon go bye-bye. That's how last year's balloon ended up on the ceiling, where it remained for half of 2006, until it drifted down within reach.

Beeker is also mostly interested in trying to eat the ribbon, which he proceeded to chomp until I took it away from him, because Tom Kenny (the cat) has had two operations to remove string, ribbon, pieces of the floor, etc. from where it was wound around his intestines. So we here at G(A)K cannot endorse allowing your cat to huff helium and snort ribbon unsupervised.

Isn't he ferocious. I mean, cute.

NEW SCRATCHER FOR X-MAKKAH?

2006-12-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

I guess they'll be getting one under the tree. That is, if I manage to have a tree without them destroying it utterly in 2.5 seconds flat.

This is what the scratcher looked like about a year ago:

This is it shortly A.B. (After Beady):

And here it is now:

KEETEN UPDATE

2006-12-11T12:22:00.000-08:00

Meet Schmoopie "Guido" Moo Shu Falkenstein.

All I can say is, if you ever think about flying, last-minute, with a feral kitten, don't.

But who could resist this face...?

It puts the kitten in the basket...

At least she's not so wild anymore. Although she did poop on the flight to Dallas, and everyone thought it was me. And, by their dirty looks, that I shot JFK. Also J.R.

But with a face like that, Guido was worth all the accusatory stares.

What are you, a clown?! - My mom

Now Beedy has a girlfriend-!

Fortunately, he's fixed.

IDDY NOT NOTICING THE KITTEN

2006-12-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

Click for maximum smut-!*

Maybe 'cuz he's:
a) old
b) blind
c) totally oblivious
d) thinks my bathroom is filthy
e) b and d

*on the floor.

BEEDY IS HUGE

2006-12-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

And if you don't believe me, here I am for scale:B is alarmed both by the size and the asymmetry of his owner's nostrils.

Just look at the size of his feetz!

BEEKER HAS OPINIONS

2006-10-31T15:32:00.000-08:00

Beady on Geraldo:
He also said something about yellow journalism. I think that means pee.

BALL MITZVAH

2006-10-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

This little guy has grown so fast, I can't believe it's his Ball Mitzvah. Already! My son is a grown-assed man-!

[Beady] Hava, noballahs, hava, noballahs, hava, noball-ahs venis'mecha.

(Just pretend he is wearing a yarmulke, OK?)

He would rather hang himself than speak to his own mother, at this point.

...and the reason why:

Beady's pre- and post-op boys.

Fortunately for you, only my my shitty camera phone is working at this point. So you don't get too too much detail.

...

He's completely shaved!

Uh...sorry.

But do you have any idea how hard it is to get a good shaved cat ball picture with only one free hand...?

You don't...?

Good.

Yeah, you better hide.

KIT 'N CONFETTI

2006-09-27T17:07:00.000-07:00

If any door, drawer, or cupboard is left even slightly ajar (which they all are - thanks, earthquake damage!), Beeker sticks his inquisitive little paw in there and proceeds to pull out everything within his pesky little reach.

Yesterday, for instance, while I was at work, he discovered some confetti deep within the crotch of my antique rolltop desk and enjoyed strewing it gaily about the living room. So now there are little shiny, multicolored suns, moons, stars, whoopity-doos (whatever you call those curly streamer things) and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!-shaped pieces all over tarnation. I even woke up with an electric blue HAPPY BIRTHDAY! stuck to my butt.

It is not my birthday.

Sometimes, I think Bee is my own personal little ray of sunshine sent down from Heaven* to pee in my shoe.

*possibly as punishment for peeing in God's robes or something, and then attempting to cover Him with the floor (clouds).

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING...

2006-09-15T15:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes,I sleep really, really hard. Like, I won't even wake up if you shake me. Or, say, if the house burns down. It makes me no difference, don't pay me and my charred remains no mind.

Young Beeker may be taking advantage of that fact. The other morning, I woke up with a scratch on my cheek and a wet leg.

I'm guessing he tried to rouse me with a gentle, batting motion, then busted out the claws. When that didn't work, he whizzed on my leg.

I think I need a rubber sheet.

The End.

BEEKER'S FAVE NEW TOY

2006-09-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

I am not even shittin' y'all.

Somehow, I don't think this will be making it into the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

IT IS VERY HARD TO GET A GOOD PICTURE OF BEEKER

2006-08-21T22:08:00.000-07:00

He won't...

hold...

...still.

IT IS STILL VERY HARD TO GET A GOOD PICTURE OF BEEKER

2006-08-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

Head butt...!

HEY! DIPSHIT! OVER HERE...!
Whoa...too close.
Almost...
Now if he would just hold still for one mo...

DAG-!

...slippery li'l varmint-!

JOE NOT APPRECIATING THE NEW KITTEN

2006-08-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Joe before young Beeker came into the picture...
...and after.

JOE RADIATES HATE (AND OTHER UNPLEASANTNESS)

2006-08-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

Joe still hates the kitten. If you look close, you can see his aura of hatred...
...or maybe just gas.

Here, he demonstrates the hate. Since he is unable to carry a picket sign (Stop the Violence; Increase the Peace!), he shows dissent by standing in front of Beeker so the kitten appears to be growing out of his ass:
(This is the feline equivalent of rabbit ears.)

Katina also enjoys revenge via gaseous matter...

For the love of all that is holy, who cut the cheese?

Was that shit Limburger...?

YAWN

2006-08-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

Katina is not amused by the kitten, either.
At least he and Joe are getting along a little better:

IT'S ALL THE SAME TO THE CLAM

2006-08-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

Iddy Biddy doesn't really care about the kitten...

Wha' happen...?

...maybe 'cuz he's blind.

IDDY TAKES A DIP

2006-08-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

Since the kitten came and jumped on his head, the little turd nugget, Iddy needed a bath.

Please enjoy my milky-white thighs.

And my wet...oh, nevermind.

Iddy pays the price for my bad pun.